I felt betrayed by one of my best friends.
She was having a mini romance with one of my old enemies.
And that was not okay with me.
I mean, best friends are supposed to dislike the same people, but by the way she talked about him constantly, I could tell her feelings were the contrary.
Deep down, I knew it was stupid to be mad.
I knew that there was nothing I could do about it, or nothing I could say that wouldn't come off as totally selfish. And part of it was for a selfish reason. I didn't want her to like someone I didn't like, and I didn't want her to have a successful friendship with someone I struggled and failed to have one with. But the other part of me was concerned for her. He is a shady character, and I was worried about what might become of her little flirtationship. He had hurt people before, so why wouldn't he hurt her?
Despite all of these feelings, I said nothing. I was frustrated by how hard it was just to merely tell her how I was feeling. It's irritating that just because of dumb past experiences that I have moved on from and almost forgotten, I still carry the burden of mistrust.
All day Friday and Saturday, she and I hardly spoke a word. But Saturday night at a party, we had a nice heart-to-heart. Turns out, she didn't even know the story of my ugly past with her new friend. I apologized for my behavior and told her she can be friends with whomever she wants.
It feels so much better to resolve things, rather than let the bitterness boil inside you.