Sometimes I can be one to stress out about my future.
Well actually, I am ALWAYS one to stress out about my future.
Ever since I entered high school, everyone tells me I need to decide what I want to do with my life. But the older I get, the thought of growing up becomes extremely intimidating. First of all, I don't really know what to study in college, like what I would be best at. And secondly, I wonder a lot about my future family.
I've always wanted to have a family. I can't even imagine a future life without one. But even that seems a little daunting at times. Babysitting has always been a little awkward for me, and sometimes I wonder what I would be like as a mother. I saw a glimpse of that this weekend.
On Thursday night last week, my little brother (well, not LITTLE, he's 13) got the stomach flu. It struck him in the evening, and in a short time he felt exhausted and quickly fell asleep on the couch. When he awoke, he felt even worse. He sat at the kitchen table where Mom was making menus. He told her he was sick as I walked through the kitchen to get a drink of water before going to bed.
I looked over at him; he looked dreadful. He was pale, tired, and his head was so heavy he had to hold it up with his hand. And despite my normal feelings of irritation towards him, something stirred inside me when I saw him like that. It was kind of a form of sympathy, but taken to the next level. I walked over to where he sat stooped over and scratched his back. I then retrieved a barf bucket and a can of ginger ale from the basement. I took him and his things upstairs, arranged his room, and put him to bed myself.
As I walked down the stairs from his bedroom, I realized that I don't have to stress out about being a good mom, because it really does come naturally to take care of someone you love.