Never & Always

I can't remember a time when I wasn't obsessed with my big sister Kayla. She played Barbies with me and painted my toenails.. She read me books almost every night, which I loved (except The Witches by Roald Dahl. That book is terrifying). She let me climb in her bed a time or two after I had a nightmare even though she HATED it. Growing up I literally thought she was the most beautiful person in the world. Whenever I heard her complain about herself I was shocked because in my eyes she was perfect and I would have given anything to grow up to be just like her.
Over the years as I have gotten older and more mature we have become the best of friends. When she first moved out and got married she would take me on adventures or we would go to plays or rent movies. A few more years passed and she had Andrea. For my entire sophomore year I would walk home from school to her house instead of mine every Monday. She fed me a snack and we talked about our lives, played with Annie, and watched recorded episodes of Once Upon a Time.
This summer it all changed when she had her second child, Samuel, and moved away from Orem and up into South Salt Lake. My heart broke.
This week, with the anxieties of school building back up, I became lonely and frustrated that she wouldn't be there to see me through the next year. I resented the eight year gap between us. If we were closer in age, I could have spent a lot more time with her during these years. But because we are so far apart, she has to keep growing up and moving on and doing bigger things than hang out with me. I was down in the dumps and I wished I had a sister my age who could sit on my bed and tell me everything is going to be okay.
But then last night a funny thing happened. I was fresh out of the shower and I texted Hannah (my friend/neighbor who I grew up with) about a cut I had on my elbow. Minutes later, she came into my room with a box of Disney princess band aids. She stayed for a while and we talked about clothes and girly things. When she left and I tucked myself into bed, I thought about how grateful I was for Hannah Cox. She really is like the little sister I never had... but always had.

I'm so grateful for all of the people in my life. Not just my family, but also the people who have become family to me. We are all put in each others' lives for a reason. I know there is a reason for the eight year gap between Kayla and I. Her maturity got me through SO MUCH, especially in my early teen years. She will always be an important person in my life, even until we are crinkly old women, and I look forward to that. And I know someday when I am a crinkly old woman I will tell my grandkids about the Coxes and how awesome they are. Someday I may not remember The Witches by Roald Dahl or Disney princess band aids, but I will always remember how much all of these beautiful people mean to me.